Have you ever been asked to send nudes or sexy selfies? Of course you have: for better or worse, it’s become “normal” now. Sexting is among the things that are inevitable nowadays, and there’s little point in pretending it doesn’t exist.
With that in mind, it’s important to teach people how to do it more safely or to encourage them to only send nudes or erotic pics if they truly want to and feel 100% comfortable.
When a Reddit user started an AskMen thread asking, How important are naughty photos for a relationship? it touched on an interesting point, how do men really feel about women sending nudes?
Ambrosi75 wrote, I am a woman who hates taking selfies, especially naughty/sexy ones. I am not talented and I suck at taking photos.
Would not wanting to send and share naughty photos be a deal breaker or a turn off for you? Especially when getting to know a woman [and] thinking about having a serious relationship with her? And, the responses are really surprising…
1. I really don’t care. There’s a weird focus on sharing nudes and sexting these days that’s frankly off-putting. If we want to see each other naked, let’s just make a date and see what happens.
2. I’d much rather see it in person than in pictures. It’s much more fun.
3. Not at all. In fact, I kind of hate how nudes have become so ubiquitous and expected these days. I think kids these days grow up with totally wrong and misguided ideas about what is ‘normal’ behaviour in interacting with the opposite sex, due to this new technology.
Not sending them would be a plus in my book. Shows she has good judgement and foresight (you never know what a guy does with the pics after you break up).
4. I’ve been married four four years and my wife has never once sent me a dirty text. Just not how we do things, I guess. Has never been an issue in our relationship!
5. Depends if the relationship is long distance. If so, I can see it mattering more. If he lives in the same city though… then no, not important or necessary at all. It’s ultimately whatever makes you feel comfortable.
6. For me, it’s definitely >0% importance, just because I’m a visual guy and currently in a middle-distance relationship where we only get to see each other once a week. However, it’s not a huge deal, but it’s a small deal, if that makes sense.
7. My S/O doesn’t do photos or video – she has a professional job where her reputation has value. She has aspirations that she might run for office some day, and nude pics aren’t something she needs coming up years down the line (by choice or by accident).
8. I would rather share intimacy in person. Maybe in marriage or a long-term relationship it would be hot (especially as a tease leading up to evening fun she planned), but in the early stages of a relationship, it is a turn off.
I should add that I am not a religious conservative or anything (I am actually extremely open-minded, especially in the bedroom), my views on this are just my own personal preference.
9. This is a really big deal. I agree fully. I don’t do raunchy photos for similar reasons. If she wants to send them fine, I delete them almost instantly. But I do not ask for them and won’t participate.
10. Not a deal-breaker at all. If your dude wants them and is pestering you, I’d take it as a bad sign. Don’t get me wrong, I love getting them and sending them, but there’s an excitement when it’s unexpected. But, if my girl never did it, I would be fine with it because I get to experience her in the flesh. Way better.
11. Not very important at all. And when people do send them, I always just take in all the beauty. I do not judge angles or lighting. Then I permanently delete them because data is only private if it is deleted.
12. Definitely not a deal breaker, if you send a shot to me, that’s awesome, but it’s not necessary. It shows confidence and desire, but I think you can show those much better in person. But each dude is different.
13. My partner and I don’t send them because we’re both extremely paranoid about data breaches and hacks. Flirty/dirty (but not pornographic) texts and emails are where it’s at for us.
14. Only reason I’ve ever sent and received those photos is because I liked the physical validation. If it was the only way I’d get that validation, I wouldn’t be in the relationship in the first place.
For me personally, it’s not that important at all, definitely never a deal breaker. It’s just something that’s nice to have when you trust the person you’re with.
15. The kind of guys I know that would judge a girl on their naughty photos are also the guys who may be inclined to show off said photos to brag to others. That being said, different folks have different preferences.
Foreplay often starts well outside the bedroom, and I’ve personally always found pictures that were risqué but not necessarily nude, to be the hottest. It builds up the anticipation for the both of you.
16. Not very, it’s really up to you. It can be fun, but it shouldn’t be necessary to maintain your relationship. If you’re romantically involved, odds are you’re going to be seeing each other naked at some point.
I know my S/O doesn’t need me to send dick pics to her, but we kind of jokingly send revealing pics to each other once in a while. After we’d been going out for a few years, she started to send me occasional pics of her. Doesn’t happen all the time, but I also don’t need it.
17. Kind of a hassle. I have to put them all in a password protected directory, and make sure none are in the photos app. I look at them like once a year and usually because I’m bored and fiddling with the phone.
18. Sometimes if you’re having a shit day at work and you got a little tease-y photo of what’s to come at home, doesn’t have to be filthy naked or anything, but it’ll straight away make your day. And it’s just another aspect of a passionate relationship.
19. I don’t see a need for them really, though in a long-distance relationship they can be sort of appealing – that said I’d only ever care for them if it was a well established long-term relationship.
20. I only send them on Snapchat.
This article was originally published in 2017.